What Is Spirituality?
What is Spirituality?
When you hear somebody say, “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual”, what does that bring to mind? To many of us, we envision sitting in lotus positions surrounded by crystals at a yoga retreat in the woods. But is that what spirituality is? I don’t think so.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a yoga retreat in the woods – that actually sounds pretty nice – but it’s not the defining nature of spirituality.
So what is this ever-elusive concept? Is it something that you’re either born with or not? Do you need to spend years of your life perfecting your meditation practice before catching a glimpse of this life-changing paradigm?
Religion is NOT Spirituality
Before we dive into what spirituality is, let’s consider what it’s NOT. Religion is not the same thing as spirituality.
Religion is often about following a system of beliefs, while spirituality is about experiencing personal meaning and connection. I don’t intend to cast dispersion on the idea of religion. A religious system can be a valuable tool to increase one’s spirituality. In fact, at its basis, that’s what religion was intended to do.
But to look at religious adherence as the goal is like honoring a hammer for its beauty instead of using it to drive a nail. Religious practice is intended to be functional, to provide a pathway to spirituality, not to become the ideal itself.
Unfortunately, this is often forgotten, and we become fascinated with religion itself and spirituality is left behind. We can see this in the fact that most religions were founded by someone with a true spiritual experience, but over time, there are far more religious managers than mystics.
Spirituality is About the Search For Meaning
Spirituality deals with how people seek meaning, connection, and purpose in life. It’s not tied to any single religion and often focuses on personal growth, inner peace, and a sense of being connected to something greater than oneself.
At the core of spirituality, we explore questions like:
- Who am I?
- Why am I here?
- What gives my life meaning?
Some people look for these answers through prayer, meditation or religious tradition. Others look to nature, creativity, community, or acts of kindness for inspiration.
When you distill these ideas down to their essential exploration, spirituality becomes the search for meaning. Think about the questions above: Who am I? We’re not looking for a quick answer so we can be on our way. Oh, you’re an individual specimen of the species Homo Sapien Sapien that lives in the year such and such in this particular country. Thanks! Now off to the question.
No, you’re asking – Who am I supposed to be? At the root of who I am, am I defined by my occupation? Or am I a mother at my core? Maybe I’m a world traveler? What’s the bedrock of my identity? You can see that the other two questions above are the same question as this one – “Why am I here?” and, “What gives my life meaning?” They’re all the same question.
Spirituality through Religion
Religions were created to help answer these questions, but they go about this in very different ways.
Many eastern traditions attempt to answer questions surrounding our underlying reality. What we see, they posit, is not reality. Reality is only perceived when we look deeper beyond the apparent veil of the physical.
A central tenet of eastern religions is non-duality, the concept that claims reality is an interconnected, unified whole rather than a collection of separate, distinct parts. It suggests that dualistic concepts like subject and object, good and evil, or self and other are illusions. Hinduism, Buddhism and many Christian traditions follow this view.
In the west, however, our religious view and our philosophical views are intertwined into a form of dualism. That’s the idea that there’s a spiritual world and a physical world. The physical world consists of the things we see everyday and it’s a real, tangible reality. On the other hand, there’s a spiritual dimension that’s just as real, but can’t be accessed by the physical tools at our disposal. God, the angels and demons and even our souls belong to this spiritual plane of existence, according to dualist traditions.
Please don’t take this as an exhaustive treatise on dualism or Eastern/Western religions. My characterizations are meant to be general rules of thumb, and they’re full of exceptions and caveats. But in general, these are the large categories.
Regardless of the religious tradition, there tends to be an element of divine revelation or discovery within the religious viewpoint. God either revealed the secrets of the universe to a prophet or a holy man discovered the secrets through spiritual discipline. These revealed secrets are intended to explain not only why the universe exists as it does, but the place of mankind within that universal hierarchy.
In the Abrahamic religions that shaped the Western world, God revealed Himself and His instructions to his prophets, and they in turn wrote the Bible as God’s Word to us. This has become a sort of instruction manual for those in these faith traditions. The Torah (Hebrew Scriptures, known as the Old Testament to most Christians) became the foundation for the Christian New Testament. Eventually, Mohammed continued this divine revelation in the Quran.
In the eastern traditions, the non-dualistic nature of reality was discovered by practitioners that honed their spiritual skills. These holy men were considered enlightened, having their eyes opened to the true reality behind the illusion we readily see.
On both sides of the world, religion is answering the same questions above – what’s the meaning of your life? In the west, it’s to obey the instructions that God revealed to us. Happiness and peace are found in that service to the divine. In the east, it’s to see beyond the veil of illusion into the true non-duality of all things. In other words, we’re all connected as one. When you see this, you grasp the truth about life and your actions then take on greater meaning.
I should point out that in indigenous traditions, some of the world’s earliest religions focused on honoring ancestors, rituals, and the sacredness of the natural world. Again, answering the question about the meaning of life and our place in it.
Spirituality as Philosophy
As in religion, philosophy has long sought out the answers about the meaning of life and what defines truth. The early philosophers, trying to tackle the idea of true reality, came up with the elemental principles that were the fundamental building blocks of all things – earth, wind, water, fire and ether (a spiritual element).
Other philosophers later disputed these ideas and presented their own theories, only to be replaced by ideas from later thinkers. But this generational conversation was intended to discover the nature of reality and our place in that.
Thinkers like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and many, many others in a long line of participants also considered and posited ideas about morality, virtues and on what we should base those. Some believed we should base our actions upon the will of the gods (albeit a whole separate pantheon of gods in those days); while others thought we should focus on what’s best for all humans, and others still believed there was no basis for morality and it was best to forsake the concept altogether.
Utilizing philosophy for spirituality emphasized personal reflection, ethics and wisdom rather than a set of doctrines.
Spirituality through Psychology/Neuroscience
In psychology, spirituality is often seen as a dimension of human well-being. Practices like meditation or gratitude journaling are shown to reduce stress and improve mental health.
Psychological giants of the past, like Carl Jung, spoke of confronting our shadow selves in an attempt to understand our whole being, not just the parts we want to show the world. In this way, we become more grounded in our identity and we naturally gain a sense of resilience and belonging.
Psychologists often describe spirituality as our “inner life” that shapes how we deal with challenges and relationships. In this way, spirituality is practical – it’s about mental clarity, peace and growth. Most self-help resources fall into this category of spirituality.
Closely related is how neuroscience sees spirituality’s effects on the brain & the body. Meditation, for instance, can alter brain patterns, increasing focus and compassion. Lower blood pressure, longer life expectancy, and improved coping skills are side effects of spiritual practices.
So What IS the Meaning of Life?
The prevailing theme that continues to arise from all these areas we’ve looked at is the connection we have to others. If you see religion as God’s revelation to us, you see that we’re connected as created beings in God’s ecosystem. From an eastern perspective, we’re all connected as parts of a universal consciousness. The indigenous see us as connected to the network of ancestors that have gone on before us.
The philosophers echo this theme. Whether reality is entrenched in Physicalism (the idea that physical matter is fundamental) or Idealism (the opposing view that consciousness is fundamental), or some version of Monism (an even more fundamental “something”, or a combination of physicalism/idealism), the bottom line is: we’re all a part of it together. We have to face reality as a species in order to live the ideal life.
And although the psychologists certainly emphasize self-care, they’re quick to point out that adopting a selfish, me-only paradigm is a sure way to mentally suffer both in mind & body.
So it’d be wise for us to approach the idea of spirituality not only as a means to center our identities individually, but also to understand our role in the connection with others. In other words, self-care and care for others will be a founding perspective of any spiritual practice.
Practices To Increase Spirituality
In all spiritual practices, religious and secular, a mainstay of practice is some form of meditation, contemplation or mindfulness. The purpose of this practice is to cultivate the habit of observing your inner thoughts and conversations.
By listening to our inner chatter, we eventually learn that the mind simply talks all the time. A thought comes in, announces itself, gives an opinion or delivers a judgment, and then another thought interrupts and does the same thing. All day long, incessant chatter between the ears.
If you try to control this dialogue, get ready for a fight. That’s kind of like grabbing a tiger by the tail. (If you’re older, your mind is probably singing a tune right now about having a tiger by the tail). You’re welcome. Anyway, that’s a difficult way to go about it. The thought life is incredibly resilient, and the more energy we expend on it, the stronger it seems to become.
Rather, view it like a pond and thoughts like rocks that we throw in the water. At first, the surface of our pond is rough. Splash after splash, thought after thought sends ripples across the surface. But if you just sit still and let it be, you’ll find that after a while, the splashes become less frequent.
Thoughts will still arise, but since you’re not feeding them with resistance, they go away quickly. Soon you can simply center your attention back to your breath, let’s say. Paying attention to the breath isn’t required, but it’s conveniently with us wherever we go, and we’re always breathing, so why not? It’s as good a thing to focus on as anything else.
So we just sit and observe our breathing. Soon thoughts arise, but instead of fighting them, we simply acknowledge them and let them go. Another thought will arise. We don’t get angry at the thought. (Why are you here? Let me alone!) We patiently acknowledge it and let it go. We turn our attention back to the breath. Breathe in, breathe out.
Before you know it, the surface of your pond begins to settle. The ripples gradually go away. Maybe not in your first sitting, but eventually it happens. It’s like exercising a muscle, and soon you can sit to practice, and your mind quiets down. Breathe in, breathe out.
Why are we doing this? We’re exercising the muscle of attention. We want to be able to focus on something (like our breath) and continue to focus on it until we’re finished. That practice of paying attention naturally extends to other areas of our lives. Surprisingly, we walk through a garden and we notice things we never saw before. We’re struck by the beauty of a tree we’ve seen for years. Only this time, we paid attention to it.
This is what meditators refer to as awareness. We become better at being aware of our surroundings. Or focusing that awareness on one particular target. In the quietness of the mind, we can start to have thoughts focused on what we want them focused on.
For instance, we can choose an idea to focus on. We choose a word like “kindness” or “compassion”, and we contemplate that. What is kindness? What actions demonstrate kindness? How can I increase kindness in my life?
Others may choose to pick a sacred text or a passage of poetry and slowly digest it. Read a line or two and then contemplate it thoughtfully. This practice can improve your life.
The gradual, consistent practice of attention pays off in immeasurable ways. Over time, we develop the ability to be silent, both inside and out, and simply “be.” The mystics of all traditions spoke about the apex of spiritual experiences occurring when our personal identity seems to melt away and we just recognize that we’re one with the All. Whether you see the All as God, or a Universal Consciousness, or a Cloud of Ancestors, among other ideas, the experience is the same. You’re united with the All. It’s a profound and life-changing encounter for everybody who experiences it.
This leads us to the other side of the spirituality coin. Spirituality not only helps us, but it also reveals to us that we’re connected to everyone else. This is not a lone endeavor.
Since we’re connected to all other beings, the mark of a person who has undergone true spiritual transformation is that they end up giving back to their fellow man. It’s a common motif throughout the ages of the man or woman who suffered, then sought isolation, was changed immeasurably by the isolated experience, and then returned to be a source of life for those from whom they once fled.
It’s Moses fleeing his people to the desert of Midian, where he meets the I AM, and is forever changed; he returns to lead his people out of slavery. But not just physical slavery, he leads them to the freedom that can only be found in an authentic spiritual experience.
It’s Siddhartha Gautama who renounces his life of luxury to embrace suffering, sits alone under the Bodhi tree, and his eyes are opened. In this enlightened state, he becomes the Buddha and returns to teach this way of life to others.
It’s Jesus who goes out to the desert and suffers, has a tempting encounter with Satan, overcomes it, and then returns with the power of the Spirit to teach others to do the same.
Our spiritual journeys are simply not meant for ourselves only. We are meant to be changed and then help others. Our personal transformations are only the first step in our own journey of transformation. It’s not that we have a spiritual experience, and now armed with all the answers, we return as rock stars in our own concerts. No, the act of returning and pouring out what we’ve learned for others is the continuation of our own journey of transformation.
If you have spiritual experiences and never turn to help your fellow man, you’ve stopped halfway in your own journey. Your work isn’t complete until you’ve emptied yourself for the sake of others.
Spirituality in Summary
Spirituality is the search for meaning. We’re all born with an innate hunger to know our purpose in life. That purpose is revealed to us by practices long designed to bring us to a place of personal transformation from self-focused existence to a life willing to be spent on the behalf of others.
Practices such as meditation, expressing gratitude, prayer, and contemplative reading, among others, are designed to cultivate the skill of paying attention. When we allow our inner chatter to subside and our awareness to increase, we’re better equipped to recognize that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves.
Recognizing our connection to all other beings is pivotal in our own personal transformation. We begin to redirect our energies from personal-focused attention to other-focused attention. We then find ourselves ready to continue our spiritual journeys in the service of others, which is where most of our own transformation takes place.
We have the example of mystics and holy men and women who have gone on before us. Their stories are here to inspire and guide our own journeys. We don’t have to adhere to any particular religion or doctrines to experience this spiritual transformation. We can encounter something bigger than ourselves without any of that. Those religious expressions are just tools for the critical work of spiritual transformation. Pick one or pick none. The focus is the journey, not the tenets of faith.
I encourage you to start the patient work of paying attention in your everyday life through some form of spiritual practice. Having accomplished that, give what you’ve freely received to someone else.
FAQs:
Q: Do I have to be religious to be spiritual?
A: No. Religion and spirituality are different things. Religion typically involves following a system of beliefs and practices within an organized structure, while spirituality is about experiencing personal meaning, connection, and purpose. You can be deeply spiritual without adhering to any religious tradition. Spirituality is the journey; religion can be a tool for that journey, but it’s not required.
Q: What’s the difference between spirituality and religion?
A: Religion is often about following established beliefs, doctrines, and practices within a community structure. Spirituality is about your personal search for meaning and connection to something greater than yourself. Think of it this way: religion is like a hammer—a tool designed to help with spiritual transformation. But if we focus only on the beauty of the hammer instead of using it, we’ve missed the point. Religion was meant to facilitate spirituality, not replace it.
Q: What is spirituality, really?
A: At its core, spirituality is the search for meaning. It’s about exploring fundamental questions like “Who am I?”, “Why am I here?”, and “What gives my life meaning?” It’s not about sitting in lotus position surrounded by crystals (though there’s nothing wrong with that). It’s about personal transformation—moving from self-focused existence to a life willing to be spent on behalf of others.
Q: How do I start a spiritual practice if I wasn’t raised religious?
A: Start with simple meditation or mindfulness practices. Begin by sitting quietly and observing your breath. When thoughts arise, acknowledge them without resistance and let them go, then return your attention to your breath. Think of your mind like a pond—at first it’s choppy with thoughts (like rocks splashing), but if you just sit still, the surface eventually settles. Start with just 5-10 minutes daily and build from there.
Q: Can I be spiritual if I’m an atheist or don’t believe in God?
A: Absolutely. Spirituality doesn’t require belief in God or supernatural forces. Whether you see the underlying connection as God, Universal Consciousness, or simply our interconnectedness as human beings, the spiritual journey is the same. Philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience all offer pathways to spiritual understanding without requiring religious belief.
Q: What are some practical spiritual practices I can try?
A: Meditation, contemplative prayer, gratitude journaling, mindful walking in nature, contemplative reading of sacred texts or poetry, breathwork, acts of service to others, and creative expression. The key is consistent practice that helps you cultivate attention and awareness. All these practices are designed to help you pay attention to your inner life, to others, and to your connection to something larger.
Q: How does spirituality connect to psychology and mental health?
A: Spirituality is increasingly recognized as a dimension of human well-being. Practices like meditation and gratitude have been shown to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, increase life expectancy, and improve mental health. Psychologists often describe spirituality as our “inner life” that shapes how we deal with challenges and relationships. Carl Jung emphasized understanding our whole selves, including our shadow aspects, as part of spiritual development.
Q: What is meditation really doing, and why does it matter?
A: Meditation is exercising the muscle of attention. You’re training your ability to focus on something (like your breath) and maintain that focus. This practice naturally extends to other areas of life—you’ll start noticing things you never saw before, like the beauty of a familiar tree. This increased awareness helps you recognize your connection to others and something greater than yourself. Over time, you may even experience what mystics describe as unity with “the All.”
Q: Is spirituality just about personal growth and feeling peaceful?
A: No—that’s only half the journey. True spirituality involves personal transformation that then extends outward to serving others. Look at spiritual figures throughout history: Moses fled to the desert, encountered the divine, and returned to lead his people. Buddha achieved enlightenment and returned to teach others. Jesus went to the wilderness, was transformed, and came back to serve. If you have spiritual experiences but never turn to help others, you’ve stopped halfway. The act of pouring yourself out for others is the continuation of your own transformation.
Q: What does “connection to something greater” actually mean?
A: This is the common thread across all spiritual traditions. In Western religions, we’re connected as created beings in God’s ecosystem. In Eastern traditions, we’re all parts of a universal consciousness. Indigenous traditions see us connected to ancestors and the natural world. Philosophers recognize we must face reality together as a species. Even psychologists emphasize that selfish, me-only thinking leads to suffering. Connection means recognizing you’re part of a larger whole, whether you call it God, the universe, humanity, or consciousness itself.
Q: How long does it take to become “spiritual”?
A: Spirituality isn’t a destination you arrive at—it’s an ongoing journey of transformation. You might have profound insights quickly, or your understanding may deepen gradually over the years. The key is consistent, patient practice of paying attention in your everyday life. Start where you are, practice regularly, and focus on the journey rather than some imagined endpoint.
Q: Can I be spiritual without believing the universe is conscious or has a plan?
A: Yes. Spirituality can be grounded in our human connections, our search for meaning, and our capacity for awe, compassion, and wisdom—none of which require believing in a conscious universe. You can approach spirituality through philosophy, psychology, ethics, and your experience of being human in a vast, interconnected world.
Q: What’s the point of spirituality if I’m happy with my life as it is?
A: Spirituality isn’t just about fixing problems—it’s about depth, meaning, and connection. It’s about moving from a life focused primarily on yourself to one that includes serving others, which paradoxically brings the deepest fulfillment. It’s about paying attention to life in ways you might have been missing, and discovering that your connection to others adds richness you didn’t know was possible.
Q: How do I know if my spiritual practice is “working”?
A: Look for increased awareness in daily life, greater ability to focus and be present, more compassion for yourself and others, and a natural inclination to serve or help others. If your practice is only making you more self-focused or isolated, something’s off. True spiritual transformation moves you from a self-focused to an other-focused perspective, from separation to connection.
